CTRL: Interview With Siphumelele Chagwe, Founder of Black Girl Fat Girl
- Deanna Floyd
- Jul 21, 2017
- 7 min read
PLEASE WATCH:
What was the inspiration behind your magazine and its name, “Black Girl Fat Girl”?
The name Black Girl. Fat Girl came to me as a phrase at the beginning of 2016. I can't remember my exact train of thought but Black Girl. Fat Girl just popped into my head as an almost perfect description of how I felt the world would perceive me . All these words that would be seen as something negative, nothing to be proud of but these are the words that define how I live my life or at least how I'm told to. A friend of mine once looked at me and said,
“You know, you’d be a great leader if you weren't so short”
We were both 17 and about to take on the world and that made me question my place in this world that I wanted so desperately to belong to.
So, I felt I needed to share this with other girls who felt that they were fat girls or queer girls or tall girls. A magazine was the best format because we get to share words and define them for ourselves, we make the rules. Magazines are just fun for me; I love reading so I enjoy that I get to read and look at really pretty pictures. Magazines are a lifestyle; they actively influence how the reader lives their life by getting them to think differently about a range of things from art to gym to patriarchy to 30 minute meals to lipstick trends. Magazines have the capability to be a life companion, that's why people subscribe. Black girl. Fat Girl aims to reach as many women of colour as possible and to become part of their lives and then grow with them.
I’ve noticed that though your look seems lax, you obviously have beauty traits that you follow. What was your journey like discovering your physical and emotional beauty?
I was always fairly unbothered by my appearance when I was a child, I didn't feel that my looks were offensive and that was good enough for me. When puberty hit I was 14 and I gained 30 kilograms overnight and developed terrible acne, this lead to a makeup addiction and extremely low self esteem. At the time I had begun questioning my blackness because coming from a primary school where I was one of seven black people in a class of 35 into a high school that was predominantly black, I felt I didn't know how to relate to my peers. When I was 17 I woke up one day and told myself to stop the make-up madness. It really hurt me to let go, but it hurt even more that I felt I needed a crutch to see myself as beautiful. Once I let go of the make-up I cried a little and felt exposed to the world. It was the beginning of my process into vulnerability. I began living my truth and not my weakness, and the truth will indeed set you free.
I think the biggest shift in my self-awareness and self-love happened around this time (June) 2016 when I replaced my afro with a buzz cut. I had been growing my hair for almost 4 years and felt I had to move on. I was scared because i remembered being told I looked like a boy in primary school whenever I came to school with a haircut. It troubled me that I felt my femininity was tied to my hair. After that big chop I felt lighter and more like myself. Being in a consistent space of reflection basically from the day I was born, has helped me a lot. I find that's all we need, to constantly check in with ourselves and weed out what doesn't serve us. I have more confidence now than I've ever had.
Being born after the Civil Rights Movement I can attest that though race relations have gotten better in America, there is still a strong system in place to oppress people of color. I’m now at an age of consciousness with the current Black Lives Matter Movement and am seeing how adverse it is to say we as Black people matter. South Africa is infamous for Apartheid. From your perspective, how does Apartheid still loom over Black South Africans and what steps were taken by government/civilians to reverse its affects?
After the first democratic vote in 1994 speeches were said, the phrase "rainbow nation" was coined and it all looked promising. I was born in 1993 so I have no memory of the unrest at the time. Coming of age in this new democracy, at some point it became clear to us that the black majority was and still is being short changed. A lot of the structures that are designed to build the country, such as our education system, can not serve the average black man because they weren't designed for the black body. Universities are either too far, too expensive, or too European. This is one of the reasons #FeesMustFall started in 2015. Smaller colleges were built in communities but many have failed because of the lack of service delivery and the shortage of teachers. Many of my friends are the first in their families to pursue a university degree, but the dept that comes with student loans has most of us drowning in it before we even enter the workforce.
There is still quite the undertone of racism in our country and it rears it's head every so often. And this I strongly believe is because the Rainbow Nation campaigns that were created post '94 were directed at the black demographic so as to avoid a civil war and give a false sense of peace. Social media has made it incredibly difficult to keep quiet about these issues because of all the hate speech we see posted, daily. There are still so many conversations to be had, Black Girl. Fat Girl wants to begin focusing on us again and the unlearning that we have to go through from the 300 years of brainwashing.
It's quite impossible to create a system of oppression and then turn around and put the oppressed in power without the entire system being revised to cater to all. It's an impossible and unfair task.
Your magazine, “Black Girl Fat Girl” is very keen on diversity. Whether it be skin color, gender, size or sex. Yours is the first I’ve seen to fully represent so many marginalized groups, if it isn’t the only. Do you believe that with enough representation people of color and women will truly be able to love themselves?
I really do believe that women can do anything, including loving themselves. Diversity is what makes us see each other as different. Intersectionality is when we begin to see that we are all complex humans, and live from a place of understanding all the layers that make us individuals. Women are a prize, but because our beauty has been sexualized, our intuition has been labeled as weakness and our worth has been attached to which man "owns" us (fathers, husbands) it began to feel like womanhood was a burden. Womanhood is not a mistake in whatever form it comes in. Unlearning the toxic heteronormative/patriarchal labels so we can step out of these boxes society tries to put us in is the first step we can take to discovering ourselves, being ourselves and loving ourselves.
Though based in Johannesburg South Africa, “Black Girl Fat Girl” has amassed a universal following. What do you attribute to this feat?
I'm grateful for all the support we've had. We were lucky enough to start at a time when a shift was happening within black culture: #BlackLivesMatter, #FeesMustFall, all these things brought us Black Girl. Fat Girl. It's definitely exciting for us that we were at the right place at the right time. We understand that redefining "weakness" is an ongoing process, we want to run Black Girl. Fat Girl in a way that grows with our current readers but is also welcoming to new readers. Our big break really came when I wrote a short blog for Afro Punk coming to South Africa, I loved Afro Punk and shared it on all their platforms, that was when our following grew. From Africa to the world and we were so frazzled, but we're still learning a lot and it's the most fun roller coaster I've ever been on.
How would you define being a Black Girl, Fat Girl and everything in between in Johannesburg South Africa?
I think being black in a country where it should feel okay to be so but isn't is quite difficult. I understand the privilege of seeing more people who look like me on the streets and in my lecture halls or office block. Waking up in the morning and going to work/a lecture means I have to worry about being harassed or raped or abducted. I have to worry about the spaces I'm going into and if whiteness will make me feel small again on that day. I have to worry about being seen with a boy in public for fear of being labeled a slut or being seen with a girl and being a victim of a hate crime. Going out means not being able to let your hair down fully because your drink might get spiked.
With all of these things in the back of my mind I find safe spaces so important and creating my own safe spaces is even more important. I'm thankful that I live in a city that is forever changing and adapting. Being constantly surrounded by people who challenge each other's idea is extremely important and that's what living in Johannesburg is for me, it's consistent growth and change.
Being a magazine curator I must ask, what are your beauty/health tips?
I am really big on choosing natural. The same deity that created the trees, and the ocean created us so mother nature is there to help us and not to hurt us. All my beauty tips are quite cliche BUT THEY WORK!
1. Get enough sleep (7 hours)
2. Hydrate
3. Eat 2/3 fruits or veggies per meal (also, eat regularly!)
Meditation and exercise. I hate gyms but I started doing Kundalini Yoga a few months ago and I go out dancing once a week as a form of exercise and release.
Take a selfie and caption it whatever you like. There have been so many arguments about selfies being narcissistic, but if we know that the majority of selfie takers are women, then shouldn't we be encouraging women to post more selfies and exercise as much self love as their wifi will allow them to?
Comments